


Lady Snake (and the Jedi Killer)

by alilacrose



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Armitage Hux Has Feelings, Canon-Typical Violence, F/M, Force Bond (Star Wars), Hate to Love, Kylo Ren Angst, Kylo Ren Being a Little Shit, Kylo Ren Has Issues, Kylo Ren Needs a Hug, Kylo Ren is Not Nice, Kylo Ren is a Mess, Love/Hate, Major Original Character(s), Nice Armitage Hux, Not Canon Compliant - Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, Original Character(s), Original Character-centric, POV Original Character, POV Third Person, Post-Star Wars: The Last Jedi, Quote: The Force works in mysterious ways, Slow Burn, The Dark Side of the Force, The First Order Wins (Star Wars), The Force Ships It, The Resistance Era, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-02
Updated: 2020-08-03
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:21:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 10
Words: 20,930
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25039159
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alilacrose/pseuds/alilacrose
Summary: The galaxy calls her Lady Snake- a quick and merciless killer. Kylo Ren calls her a nuisance.Krina, a Commander and the only other Force user of the First Order, despises what the dark side has become and wishes to return it to its true state of power but what she hates the most is the naive man-child ruling over it.
Relationships: Ben Solo | Kylo Ren/Original Character(s), Ben Solo | Kylo Ren/Original Female Character(s), Kylo Ren/Original Character(s), Kylo Ren/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 14
Kudos: 32





	1. Abstemious (To Exercise Such Restraint)

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone! Welcome to my new OC/Kylo Ren fic! Hopefully, you came for Kylo Ren but stayed for Krina! 
> 
> Also, a HUGE thank you to my wonderful friend, [Tori](https://archiveofourown.org/users/tori8993), who is going to be my main editor on this adventure.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this chapter and are ready for more!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Your naivety and weakness will not be mistaken for the First Order’s,” She spoke, her voice stable and her words harsh. She did not fear their useless, newly appointed Supreme Leader. In fact, she feared virtually nothing. Krina readied herself by taking a step backward, raising her lightsaber above her head. She smiled sinisterly at the man before striking fast and deadly, like that of a snake. She whipped back around and walked passed the group of First Order personnel without hesitation. She paused for a moment, facing away from her superior. 
> 
> “While we are at it, if you so desperately want to be called by your ridiculous, made-up name then you will call me by mine, Ben Solo.” Krina was gone before Kylo had any time to react. He felt their connection break as she shut herself off from him through the Force. Krina had insisted they only be available to each other when necessary. She wanted nothing to do with the torment in his mind.

The usual hum of TIE Fighters landing, taking off, and flying overhead mixed with the rhythmic sounds of blasters relentlessly firing – it was almost enough to drown out the screams and pleas of the planet’s villagers as they begged for their lives to be spared. Almost. 

Krina narrowed her eyes as she assessed the scene playing out in front of her. Stormtroopers gathered in herds, wrangling up and disposing of large groups of civilians. The commands fell from her lips so quickly that she didn’t even have a second to register it as she tightened her grip on the hilt of her lightsaber, the delicate fabric of her glove stretching over her knuckles as much as it possibly could without wearing too thin. She scanned the crowd methodically, keeping her eyes focused on the task at hand and her mind focused on honing in the Force, bending it to do her current list of sinister deeds. The hum of her steady kyber crystal nestled in her perfectly crafted saber reminded her that she had work to do and only a finite amount of time to accomplish it all. Krina passed by the majority of their fleet, reaching the middle of the village where a line of feeble excuses for storefronts and a watering hole were the only things of substance. This place barely had any value to anyone, let alone the First Order. It was simply a quick stop in the Order’s plans to overthrow a whole line of small, inhabitable planets in order to gather resources, look for a new base, and gain the upper hand against the Resistance. 

Annoyance and anger rose in Krina as she sensed six people coming closer to her. The Knights of Ren, masked warriors who devoted themselves to the Dark Side – a true testament to its power when utilized correctly but they were more or less just used to scare people off. To Krina, six large, useless monsters were hardly a distraction. The seventh was going to be a problem. He never hesitated to intervene, cause a scene, and sabotage her missions. She stiffened, trying to stay focused on the task at hand. 

Four stormtroopers stood around villagers, who were down on their knees, holding blasters to their temples. Krina’s boots crunched against dry and cracked dirt as she stepped forward. The hostages looked up at her with fear in their eyes as she towered over them, holding her lightsaber in a backwards grip and deactivating it in hopes of giving them some sort of false sense of security.

“Don’t be afraid,” She hummed, offering a sweet smile as she made a point to show them that she was putting her weapon away. She could feel their fear grow as they recognized her, and her capabilities. Krina took another step forward and the captives winced. She let out a cold laugh, throwing her head back. “None of you listened. That’s a shame.” 

Krina eyed the line and began sifting through their minds, one by one. At each victim, she paused and leaned in, only inches between them. She smirked at each of them, watching as their sweat and tears mixed into a mess. All they could visualize was a dramatic slideshow of memories and goodbyes upon realization that this was indeed the end. However, there was nothing of substance, nothing she needed. So far, they were more useless than the planet they lived on. She continued down the line, ignoring the screams of those she was finished with as the troopers finished them off. With each death, the Knights of Ren inched closer. 

As Krina reached the final villager, she held her hand out, instructing the Force to infiltrate the poor man’s mind. He left out a pained and strangled scream as Krina gained control over his thoughts. She rummaged through them, finding a hint of something worth looking into. She pushed the Force, wanting to peer further and gather more information. And yet, she was inevitably interrupted. A huff escaped her lips and she backed away, whipping her head around only to be met by six terribly designed masks.

“Interrupting yet another mission you have no place in, I see,” Krina spoke through gritted teeth. None of them answered. She was well aware their master was puppeteering them to keep their mouths shut. She shook her head at them and sauntered over. 

“Where’s your master? Shouldn’t he be here trying to take my glory?” She hummed as she weaved in between the men, placing her hands on them like they were toys and she wanted to play. Almost as if he were listening, their master was now tangible in her mind and heading directly towards her, speaking to her through the Force. Kylo Ren had finally arrived.

_"Get your hands off of them and do what you were told."_

Krina audibly laughed and slithered over to Vicrul – or was it Ushar? She didn’t care to be able to tell them apart. She let her hands trail down the layers of the knight’s thick black fabric. 

“Oh, he’s coming! How exciting! Once he’s here you all can pretend to be useful while he gives you silly instructions. As if I wasn’t already going to do all of it myself!” She cheered, practically bouncing along with her words.

Honestly, Krina felt bad for not only the stormtroopers but the poor lonely villager who had to watch this desperate attempt to get under Kylo Ren’s tattered and scarred skin. She wanted to have a little fun before the mission was over. Once she felt his full presence, Krina backed away from the Knights and stood in front of them, facing them. 

Kylo Ren pushed past his men and stood only inches from the frustrated woman. He may be taller than her, but it was obvious that she was not the least bit intimidated by him. She stood with her shoulders back and her chin in the air, her eyes not faltering. This was the first time Krina had seen Kylo Ren’s newly reforged helmet and she made a mental map of the ridiculous red vein-like stripes. 

“Supreme Leader,” Krina addressed the masked man, raising an eyebrow. Wordlessly, Kylo Ren walked over to the lone captive. Krina continued to face the Knights of Ren, working on not letting her anger for the Supreme Leader’s interruption get the best of her. The disruption in the Force is what made her turn around. Kylo Ren somewhat knew the one villager Krina hadn’t gotten a chance to fully infiltrate and kill. She could feel the turmoil it caused the already weak man in front of her. 

“You’re with the Resistance,” Kylo spoke, breaking his silence. Krina didn’t intervene. She only motioned the stormtroopers to fall back and watched on. The captive only made a small, disgusted noise but kept his eyes locked onto the masked man in front of him. Kylo crouched down to be at the same level and mimicked the motion Krina had done only moments before, earning the same guttural scream as the man’s mind was torn through. The sound lasted much longer as Kylo poked and prodded, searching.

Krina felt it the moment Kylo found what she had already begun to uncover. He retrieved the information that would be useful to them: a small section of the Resistance’s current plans. Kylo hummed, dropping his hand and letting the Force dissipate.

“Valuable information in the mind of such an unimportant individual. Truly a mistake,” He stood as he spoke, steadying himself as he reached for his lightsaber.

“You forget yourself, young man,” The man began to speak in a panic and Kylo stilled. “The light is strong in your ever disintegrating heart. You may believe the Dark Side has a hold on you but your mother-” 

“Oh, enough,” Krina scoffed, already igniting her lightsaber. The blade’s hum made her eager, and ready to kill. Kylo raised a hand, silently ordering her to stand down.

Krina grit her teeth at Kylo Ren, glaring at him in disgust. This was her mission, she was not going to let his fatal love for an absent mother cause yet another disruption. She stepped forward, keeping her eyes on the back of his helmet as she walked. When she got close enough, she shoved him aside, staring down at the man a part of Kylo Ren hopelessly wanted to spare.

“Krina,” Kylo Ren hissed, warning the Commander. 

“Your naivety and weakness will not be mistaken for the First Order’s,” She spoke, her voice stable and her words harsh. She did not fear their useless, newly appointed Supreme Leader. In fact, she feared virtually nothing. Krina readied herself by taking a step backward, raising her lightsaber above her head. She smiled sinisterly at the man before striking fast and deadly, like that of a snake. She whipped back around and walked passed the group of First Order personnel without hesitation. She paused for a moment, facing away from her superior. 

“While we are at it, if you so desperately want to be called by your ridiculous, made-up name then you will call me by mine, Ben Solo.” Krina was gone before Kylo had any time to react. He felt their connection break as she shut herself off from him through the Force. Krina had insisted they only be available to each other when necessary. She wanted nothing to do with the torment in his mind. 

Kylo Ren’s blood boiled as he stared down at the mess Krina had left behind. She was always so insistent that things be done the way she wanted. She never thought of the consequences of her actions. He was always left to pick up her pieces, to reconcile for what she had done. He was the Supreme Leader, the true leader of the First Order, of the Dark Side. She was the newly appointed Commander, practically nothing. It was a choice he was forced to make once he stepped into the role he was bound for. He was reluctant to give her the title and its power, however, it was imperative that he keep the security of the First Order as his top priority. Besides destroying the Resistance, of course. He didn’t think it was possible but Krina became even more of an inconvenience.

Kylo may have been a monster but he was a fair one. He was going to continue to treat her lowly so long as she treated him like a joke. She so desperately wanted him to call her by her earned title yet never had the decency to show him an ounce of respect.

Lady Snake: a relentless, highly trained killer that lacked in dignity and humane morals. A woman so deadly, her victims weren’t able to utter their last words or gasp a last breath. Anyone could argue that Kylo was void of the same things but he didn’t mind. He, for the most part, knew where he stood and who he was. 

Kylo kneeled down at the remains, his eyes scanning the Resistance fighter’s body in hopes of finding anything valuable. He examined Krina’s destruction, making a mental note of the way she attacked. Just like all her other outbreaks, this one was eerily perfect. A completely straight slice right through the man’s waist, causing his upper body to practically slide off. Krina’s approach was unlike Kylo’s in every way. His technique was jagged, rushed, and novice while Krina’s was so refined, it left those who witnessed it feeling uneasy and in awe. 

In one fluid movement, Kylo stood up and turned around to face his men, one of his only constant reminders of Snoke. The Knights of Ren were a gift from his master when he renounced his past and gave into the Dark Side. His only other reminder was Krina, who wasn’t exactly a good one. The Knights all regained their posture and stood at attention. 

“Vicrul,” Kylo commanded, causing the man to step forward in anticipation for his next assignment. “Keep a close eye on Krina. I have a feeling we’ve reached her breaking point.”


	2. Depereo (To Be Utterly Ruined)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _“Listen to your master,” A cocky Kylo Ren instructed, smirking at her._
> 
> _“If I’m not listening to him, what makes you think I’ll listen to you?” Krina questioned, cocking her head to the side._
> 
> _“One day you will.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! The posting schedule looks like it's going to be every Monday and Thursday. I'm sure there will be times I miss but I will try to post as on schedule as possible. 
> 
> Also, we've decided that [Tori](https://archiveofourown.org/users/tori8993) is going to be editing this entire story with me! Leave a comment and let me know what your thoughts are about the chapter!
> 
> I hope you all are enjoying it so far! I can't wait for you to see what I have planned.

As Krina climbed into the cockpit of her TIE Fighter and prepared to take off, she couldn’t help but let her mind wander, the last few moments playing out in her head. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t find a single mistake on her part. She was ruthless, agile, exactly the kind of killer the First Order needed in order to be truly successful. The only mistake that stood blatantly in front of her was Kylo Ren, a boy pretending to be a man, and barely attempting to be a leader. Outrage and hatred clouded her thoughts, causing her to miscalculate her speed as she made her way out of the planet’s atmosphere. The TIE Fighter jolted forward and Krina threw her hands out to steady herself against the control panel. 

“Kriff,” She muttered, placing shaky hands back on the control stick. She wasn’t the best pilot out there but she knew how to handle herself, and her ship, on most occasions. Once she steadied herself and set her destination for the Steadfast, the flagship shared between General Hux, Kylo Ren, and herself, Krina flipped to auto-pilot and stared out at the vastness in front of her. It wasn’t a long trip back but she needed to coast and let the frustrations fizzle out in hopes that Kylo Ren wouldn’t linger under her skin.

Krina couldn’t remember exactly when she was given her current title, the one that fit her better than the name she was given at birth. She did remember the first time she ever embraced it. Overly confident Resistance fighters tried to interrupt yet another mission but were far from successful. Krina was quick to stop them from causing any true damage. A pilot, one of the best in the pathetic bunch, was no match for her. The poor woman should’ve stayed in the sky. The last thing she saw was Krina’s sinister smile as the Force crushed against her throat like a python slowly constricting around its prey. 

Lady Snake is a name reserved only for the most deadly and deceitful individual in the entire galaxy. It could only belong to the most devious of people. To Krina, it was endearing that the name was granted upon her. Her name was so feared that when spoken, even in whispers, it sent shivers down spines. 

She only questioned if she was worthy of such when a certain masked, intolerable individual had tried to strip her of her power. He had just given her more, let her have a taste of a potential future full of glory and above all, the true victory of the First Order. Every day, every moment she was in his presence, that victory felt far beyond her reach. Lady Snake was slowly becoming a joke, a trophy full of threats that was held up high above everyone’s head- including Krina’s.

She thought back to the days in which she was promised glory. The days when she kneeled before Snoke, her eyes on the ground in front of her and her heart beating out of her chest. He was always so pleased with how she stuck to her training, no matter how brutal it was. Even as a child, Krina was the most promising apprentice. As she developed into her abilities and truly learned the darkest ways of the Force, Snoke knew she was going to be a valuable asset.

Unfortunate events began to pile up as if the Force was punishing her for years of unspeakable and unforgivable acts. The first of which was the turning of Ben Solo. Something in the Force shifted when the son of Leia Organa and Han Solo fell and Kylo Ren rose from his ashes. Snoke felt it before Krina did. He warned her. She should’ve listened. She fell from the ranks as her counterpart continued to climb, becoming their master’s apparent favorite. Krina continued to train hard, keeping her eyes on what Snoke had planned for her all those years ago, yet she was no match for Kylo Ren- or rather, no match for a bloodline that powerful. Every day felt like another event pushing Krina far from anything her mentor had guaranteed through whispers. There Kylo Ren was, constantly keeping her from surpassing him. 

He was weak and afraid. He had no true place on the Dark Side. The darkness in him was not a match for the light that constantly threatened to take hold. For Krina, there was no light. There never had been. Life had never been kind to her. For all that she knew, the light and the love that went with it were just a myth. She wasn’t ever going to be worthy of anything of that sort.

Krina was startled out of her thoughts by a beeping from her control panel, alerting her that she was nearing her destination. She straightened up, turned off autopilot, and let out a breath at the sight of the Steadfast. She landed quickly, watching stormtroopers and mechanics flood the docking bay around her. She climbed out, staring straight ahead of her.

“I want this ship fully cleaned and inspected immediately,” She barked, knowing it was completely fine and already spotless. The crew all responded in unison and got to work as she marched out of the bay. 

The sound of her own heart working overtime and beating out of her chest filled her ears and overwhelmed her. She had to get herself to calm down and not create a reputation for herself similar to that of her predecessor. Before she knew it, Krina was standing at the entrance to her training quarters.

As she slowed her breathing, Krina reached down to grab her lightsaber. The cold metal of the hilt sent shivers down her spine. When she ignited it, that same cold was engulfed in heat and instantly melted away. With heat came comfort. Krina let the blade fall to her side as she closed her eyes. Her breathing steadied, allowing her mind to clash with the Force and draw power from it. 

Krina felt everything and nothing all at once as her connection with the Force stabilized. As she readied herself, her mind flooded with past thoughts and images, mostly from her recent mission. As much as she tried to ignore those thoughts to focus on her training, her mind would not let her forget the interruption from earlier. The way he sauntered in, blatantly disregarding the fact that she was more than capable by herself. Almost instantly, flashes of all the times Kylo pushed her to the side flooded her mind. 

When she opened her eyes again, she was met with a perfect replica of Kylo Ren, standing helmetless with his lightsaber in hand. Krina snarled at the image the Force had presented her with and she lifted her lightsaber, twirling it effortlessly. There wasn’t even a split second of hesitation before she struck, slashing angrily at the image. A loud breath escaped pursed lips, shoulders heaving from the exertion of energy.

_“Again,” Snoke commanded, his voice booming in the young adult’s mind. Krina pushed herself up off the ground and grabbed her lightsaber from beside her, wobbling with unbalanced pain._

_“Master,” She croaked, wiping blood from her lips with the back of her hand. “I don’t know how much more I can take.”_

_“It is not about what you can take. It is about the damage you inflict.”_

Krina had dealt so much damage: to innocence, to the Resistance, to herself. And none of it truly mattered. Anyone who stood in the way was an enemy. Resentment bubbled in her chest as she stared at the Force vision of the one she deemed her biggest enemy and she slashed at it again. This time, she didn’t let herself catch her breath before she began to circle around it, stepping skillfully on the tips of her toes. Disgust wrote itself into her expression, eyes narrowed and jaw clenched. 

_“Match his movements. Mimic his connection to the Force.”_

_Krina sighed, defeat riddled in her stance. She knew this was the furthest from a fair fight. Snoke had challenged her plenty of times before but hadn’t dared try anything like this. She watched her opponent, her eyes tracking even the smallest of movements- a deep breath, a twitch, a fraction of a step. She was waiting for the right moment to make her move, the right moment to strike. The man in front of her began to move slowly. It took a few seconds before Krina registered that he wasn’t coming right at her but rather circling his prey. She gulped, trying to stay focused. This was far from her first fight against someone who made her seem so small._

_“Krina,” Snoke beckoned. She ignored him, stepping forward in anger, lightsaber at the ready._

_“Listen to your master,” A cocky Kylo Ren instructed, smirking at her._

_“If I’m not listening to him, what makes you think I’ll listen to you?” Krina questioned, cocking her head to the side._

_“One day you will.”_

Sweat began to build on the Commander’s forehead the same way tension did in her muscles. Lady Snake. Venomously lethal and unafraid. 

_“You said she was a worthy opponent. Does she not understand that I can take anything I want?” Confidence spewed from his words that were aimed at Snoke, ignoring Krina entirely. And just like that- she began to run at him, using both of her hands to grip onto her weapon and give herself more power._

_Her rival let out a tisk and effortlessly swiped, keeping still. The blade collided with Krina’s cheek and ripped all the way down to her neck. A loud and painful scream covered the hums of lightsabers and the disappointing words from their master._

Krina snapped, letting out a scream reminiscent of the one from her past as she ran forward, striking the Force projected Kylo Ren. As soon as the blade made contact, the image disappeared, leaving Krina bewildered and alone. She stood, frozen in time, coming to terms with the memory she presented to herself. With a shaky hand, she deactivated her lightsaber, placed it back on her belt, and ran a hand through her hair.

The scar on her cheek burned with echoes of a memory she continually tried to forget. The tremor in her hand became impossible to control as she reached up, letting the tips of her ungloved fingers trace over her unwanted trophy. The roughness irritated calluses and she thought back to the moment she decided it was going to be an ever-present reminder.

_Krina tried to ignore the smell of burning flesh from the moment she was injured but it was unbearable, worse than the pain she was enduring. The medical droid worked diligently to treat the wound as Krina’s nostrils burned with the overwhelming smell. Sure, she had her fair share of small scars from her from learning how to wield such a powerful weapon but no one dared to harm her with one of their own. Krina hissed and recoiled as the medical droid placed a bacta patch on her cheek._

_“Enough,” She ordered, ripping the bandage off in one motion, ignorantly deciding against treatment. She knew a lightsaber wound was far too much for her body to heal on its own but maybe she deserved to wear such a despicable prize._

“I take it that the mission didn’t go as planned?” A soft voice caused Krina to jump out of her skin. Hux. She should’ve sensed him coming, but at the moment she was too disconnected from the Force and mentally unhinged. 

“I will not hesitate to decapitate you,” Krina spoke through gritted teeth, pushing loose strands of hair away from her face. Hux threw his arms up, surrendering. 

“You were meant to be at a debriefing immediately following your return. I just wanted to make sure you weren’t lost.”

“Do I look lost?” Krina questioned, throwing her hands up. 

“Not physically.” 

Krina huffed, crossing her arms over her chest and raising an eyebrow at the General. “You want a debriefing? I wanted to blow off steam and ended up reliving trauma. Even the worst of people have things they don't want to remember. You of all people should know that.”

“I meant a debriefing of the mission,” Hux hummed, trying to keep a smile from creeping onto his lips.

“Oh,” Krina pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed. “Our naive, narrow-minded leader meandered on in and stole my glory right from under me, almost sabotaging the whole kriffing thing due to his uncontrollable weakness for the pathetic Resistance. He made a mockery out of me, yet again.”

“I see. Were you successful?”

“Yes, General,” Krina answered sarcastically. 

“Well done. You’re dismissed,” Hux cracked back, stepping on his heels to leave Krina to her own devices. “And Krina?”

“Mhm?”

“Sometimes memories are the worst form of torture.” With that, Hux was gone and once again, Krina was alone.


	3. Compatior (To Suffer With One)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Something bubbled in Krina’s chest and caused an ache in her throat: a sense of finally understanding someone who had always been a mystery to her. And yet, even with this newfound information, Krina couldn’t shake her frustration. She had always known it to be true– this split of his soul was his downfall, his weakness. It was taking him over, resting somewhere in the cracks of his bones. How could someone who had been betrayed by the Light still have such a desire for it? The Light was filled with empty promises and ineffective hope. It made Krina sick.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! This chapter is my favorite so far. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy this spicy Kylo/Krina moment as much as I do!

Days spent on the Steadfast were less than ideal for Kylo Ren. He was surrounded by those who only questioned his loyalty and abilities and had no trust in his leadership. The worst part was the inevitability of dealing with those who got under his skin the most: General Hux and Snoke’s pitiful project: Krina. It had only been a few weeks since their encounter on whatever planet that was and Kylo was still buzzing from the girl’s actions. He was sure she was still cursing him and thinking of ways to kill him.

The sound of his boots clacked against the floor of the vessel’s corridors and echoed against metal covered walls. He was hardly a fan of routines and scheduled duties but knew the First Order would spend their time planning to overthrow him if he slacked or let his guard down. So, he slowly made his way through rooms. 

He headed towards the Night Buzzard, The Knights of Ren’s ship, springing an impromptu meeting on them. Though it was docked, they had just come back from a personal mission he had sent them on. He could sense their presence far before they caught a hint of his, giving him an advantage. They may have been his men but his trust in them was thin regardless. Kylo could sense his warriors slacking off, chatting and acting far from professionally. When he entered, they all stood formally in a line, at the ready. Kylo walked down the line. It was so silent, every breath rang in their ears. Kylo was peering into their minds, hoping to find nothing out of the sorts. They were all carefully thoughtless. Vicrul is where that changed. 

“Is there something wrong, Vicrul?” Kylo asked as he walked away from his men and stood by the door.

“No, sir.” Vicrul responded quickly. 

“No? It seems there must be considering you have disobeyed direct orders.”

“I apologize, sir. I was unaware the orders were of priority importance.” 

“Do I need to spell it out for you? You are to know where Krina is and what she is doing at all times. I want you to report back every single day.”

“Yes, sir.”

“You are not to be caught. Do you understand me?”

The Knight nodded his head slightly. “Yes, sir.”

“I have no power over her nor her actions. She will not hesitate to kill you.”

“She would kill you long before she’d –"

Vicrul’s words caught in his throat as the Force crushed against it. Panic filled the room as the rest of the Knights turned their attention to their leader, knowing he was the source even though he hadn’t moved a muscle. 

“Utter such words again and I will do the honors.” As soon as the words left his lips, Kylo stormed out, his cape whipping behind him. He didn’t release his grip on Vicrul’s throat until he knew the bastard was seconds from death.

He kept walking, practically aimlessly. His mind, body, and connection with the Force were all weathered and out of control. He couldn’t quite place his anger in one place. Vicrul’s words echoed against images of Krina. It didn’t stop there. Even the scavenger mocked him. Eventually, Kylo stopped and put a hand on the hilt of his saber.

Krina’s day had been far from eventful and she was ready to turn in and retreat to her quarters. She turned the corner and froze in her tracks at the sight in front of her. Kylo Ren stood hunched over, frantically slashing. Large, jagged marks covered the console in front of him. His chest heaved and his entire body shook. He paused for a moment, almost regaining his composure, as if he knew she was there, before he unraveled all over again. Krina was unsure of what to do. She knew any sudden or wrong movement would end poorly for her. 

Every ounce of pain radiated off of Kylo and Krina could sense all of it. It was as if there was a crack in the Force, in the barrier she had created. She had shut herself off from him and his uncontrollable emotions, yet the Force insisted she have a taste of what he was currently feeling. She shivered at the overwhelming sensation running down her spine and she stared, unable to tear herself away. Watching him come undone was magnetizing. He was vicious and exposed, unlike how Krina was used to seeing him. He was kinder to their enemy than he was to his own equipment. 

“What are you doing?” Krina spoke slowly, her words making Kylo freeze. He was so engulfed in his actions that he didn’t sense anyone coming. It was as if she was a parent catching her child acting up.

“Leave at once,” He ordered, his grip on his saber tightening.

“I believe I asked you a question,” Krina pushed. Abruptly and wordlessly, Kylo turned on his heels, turned off the screeching saber, and stormed away from Krina, who stood dumbfounded. After realizing what had happened, Krina quickly followed.

“Supreme Leader, I believe I asked you a question,” She repeated, her words thick with sarcasm as she was practically on his heels. She watched as a door opened in front of him and she picked up speed, slipping through. 

Suddenly, she was in unmarked territory. Her eyes scanned every bit of the room. Her skin grew pale when she realized she was standing in Kylo Ren’s quarters. The apparent size difference between hers and his came to mind before much of anything else. There they stood, Kylo faced away from her, knowing she was there- knowing she was seeing a place that was only meant to be his.

The slightest bit of personal satisfaction mixed with Kylo’s surge of emotions as Krina was finally able to witness an infamous temper tantrum and better yet, she was finally able to witness a piece of Kylo he kept so private. Just as Krina was about to throw a snarky remark into the mix about his choice of decoration, the dam that kept them apart broke and flooded her mind. Krina had spent years working to successfully cut herself off from Kylo, flipping the switch only when needed. And now, it was shattered and she was left overwhelmed. The Force was showing her that she mistook fury for pain. 

_“She would kill you long before she’d ever think to kill me.”_

Vicrul’s words replayed in her mind like a broken record. She swallowed hard as her eyes widened. Kylo’s body tensed. He knew what she had heard. He whipped around, marching over to her and stopping only inches from her face.

“You.” There was so much hatred in one word that Krina’s defenses were automatically triggered. She raised an eyebrow at him. 

“Me?” 

“What did you hear?” Krina could barely make out his words through the purposeful distortion through the mask mixing with his apparent clenched jaw. 

“You know what I heard.”

“You should not be in here,” He stated, changing the subject and taking a few steps back. Krina repositioned herself and stuck out her neck.

“You shouldn’t be destroying First Order property.” Krina’s words earned a scoff from the masked joke of a man she was dealing with. 

“Oh, Krina. I am the First Order.” 

“No,” She started, holding back laughter. “You’re an entitled brat that wouldn’t have anything if it weren’t for us.”

“Us? You think you matter to these people?” Kylo asked harshly.

“I know they’d rather keep me alive and that’s all I need.”

“You just do their bidding, their dirty work. You are nothing to them.” Krina scoffed at Kylo’s words and crossed her arms over her chest. She couldn’t believe he had the audacity to speak to her in such a way as if he truly believed she was unimportant. 

To keep herself from staring at him, Krina shifted her gaze to objects in the room, slowly taking it all in. The perfect mix of white and black covered surfaces. Everything was sleek and clean, unlike most of anything Krina had ever seen. She may have seen death in ways unimaginable, but a suite this pristine was a shock. The space was similar to hers, of course, but it felt entirely different. It was as if no one truly lived here. Krina forced herself to return her eyes to the masked man the room supposedly belonged to.

“What is with you calling people nothing? Do you think that’s a good way to entice women?”  
“Krina-” 

“I distinctly recall telling you to call me by my title,” Krina cut him off, seriousness dripping off of her words.

“Ah, yes. Lady Snake,” It felt wrong coming off his lips. “A name you have hardly grown into.”

“I deserve my title far more than you deserve yours.”

“Ah, I can sense you believe this to be true. You never did like me much.”

“I still don’t.” 

“And why is that?”

“Why?” Krina scoffed. “You’re a pathetic man hiding behind a helmet you’ve destroyed and rebuilt, too afraid of the person underneath it.”

“You hardly know the man underneath.”

“I don’t care to know him.”

Kylo Ren, the Supreme Leader of the First Order, let out the softest of hums before reaching up, his fingers hooking into the bottom of his helmet. Krina could’ve sworn he hesitated, second-guessed his decision, wondered if it was the right one to make. He pulled off the helmet, letting it drop to the ground aimlessly. Neither of them was fazed by the sound of metal crashing onto the ground. 

Krina immediately glanced at his newly uncovered face, wanting to take in every inch of him. She had seen him without his mask before but something about the man standing in front of her was entirely different.

The color of his skin was so pale it was almost sickly even though it was scattered with spots of red, a true representation of his current anger. One poorly healed scar looked monstrous, compared to the small ones that littered his face, as it started at his forehead and cascaded all the way to his neck. Krina knew of its existence, that the scavenger had done it, but hadn’t seen it up close. His lips were pulled into a thin line but it was evident that they were chapped and cracking. His natural blemishes were made unimportant by all the damage years of war had done to him. Finally, Krina dared to peer into his eyes. His pupils were dilated, swallowing the soft brown that surrounded them. Around the edges of his irises was a brilliant mix of tints and shades of green, yellow, and brown, creating the most perfect hazel. Behind the color lived enough pain to last several lifetimes, pain that was going to outlive both of them. Krina’s eyes searched around one last time, this time trying to read his expression. She almost didn’t need to because the divide in him was already crying out through the Force. Both the Light and the Dark pulled at him as if they were engaged in an intense game of tug-a-war and he was stuck in the middle.

Something bubbled in Krina’s chest and caused an ache in her throat: a sense of finally understanding someone who had always been a mystery to her. And yet, even with this newfound information, Krina couldn’t shake her frustration. She had always known it to be true– this split of his soul was his downfall, his weakness. It was taking him over, resting somewhere in the cracks of his bones. How could someone who had been betrayed by the Light still have such a desire for it? The Light was filled with empty promises and ineffective hope. It made Krina sick. Anger dissipated as Kylo Ren took a step closer to Krina, daring her to make any comment about his appearance. She stiffened. 

“I am far more than a rebuilt helmet.”

“Hardly.”

“And you are more than the guilt that keeps you here.” Kylo’s words sat in between them. Krina wasn’t sure what to say as it almost felt tender, understanding. “You are a product of something that has an unforgivable grip on you. And you continue to let it abuse you.”

The sympathy Krina thought was weaved into Kylo’s words dissipated as he finished. He was a contradiction, acting out of hate but depending on love. His words matched the sentiment and Krina had no luck trying to make sense of it. This side of him was all new to her. There was a softness around his edges that left her uneasy and even more unsure of who he truly was. She swallowed hard, trying to rid herself of the lump in her throat.

She thanked the Maker for the beeping that came from a pocket of hers as it gave her the chance to put Kylo’s feeble attempts on hold. She swiftly pulled out her Holo-Pad and pressed the center of it, watching a holographic image of Hux appear. 

“General,” She spoke as calmly as possible. No one needed to know she was standing in their Supreme Leader’s quarters, especially not Hux.

“Krina, you have a new assignment. You are needed in the interrogation room. We have a new prisoner onboard.”

“Prisoner?” Krina and Kylo Ren spoke simultaneously, their voices mixing together. Krina flashed him a deadly look before looking back at her Holo-Pad. 

“Who- where are you?” Hux asked, eyes wide. Krina mentally cursed both of the impossible men in her life. 

“Unimportant. Please, continue.” She urged in hopes of steering Hux away from his curiosity. 

“Very well… She was captured on a simple supplies retrieval mission. The Resistance had similar plans, so it seems. You are to report there immediately.”

“Yes, of course. I want troopers posted outside the room. No one is allowed in,” Krina ordered before clicking the middle of the pad again to end the conversation. She didn’t need Kylo and Hux interacting any more than the one small mistake. Wordlessly, Krina stormed out of Kylo’s quarters to tend to her mission. He stayed in his same spot, maskless and vulnerable.


	4. Excrucio (To Cause Great Pain)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Rey would never let that happen,” Rose retorted, weakly. 
> 
> Rolling her eyes, Krina shot down the pitiful answer. “That's if she can even hear the attack coming. Your little boyfriend seems to be shouting her name all the time.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! Happy Monday!
> 
> This chapter is a little shorter but it features one of our favorite, lovely Resistance ladies- Rose!
> 
> Enjoy!

“Guard the door and don’t mind the screams,” Krina ordered the setup stormtroopers that stood at attention right in front of the interrogation room as she swiped two fingers effortlessly and stepped inside. Her whole body was tingling with anticipation, knowing she was going to be doing some real damage to whoever this poor Resistance scum was. The door closed as soon as she was fully inside. She used the same two fingers to will the interrogation chair to swivel around and face her. The sight in front of her caused the most feral noise to escape her lips.

“Oh look, the traitor’s girlfriend is paying us a visit!” She cheered, flashing a sinister smile at Rose Tico. The prisoner looked up at Krina through droopy eyelids with the most disgusted expression resting on her bloodied face.

“Oh look, the less important version of Kylo Ren is here," Rose bit back.

“Careful, scum. I don’t think you’d want something so polarizing to be your last words,” Krina shook her head as she spoke. Rose didn’t answer again. How could she? Krina had thrown her hand up in anger and was crushing Rose’s windpipe. 

“How did you get yourself captured again, little wretch? You and FN-2187 just caused quite a stir on the Supremacy and now here you are, back in our grasp. You really are so inexperienced and naive. It’s a shame. You have the potential to be so useful,” Krina never really did know when to stop talking, she found it fun to torment and taunt. It was just a game to her: how many words could she fit in before the scum was only an inch from death. She watched as the fear grew in the poor prisoner’s eyes. She couldn’t tell if Rose was afraid of death or Krina herself. Maybe it was a mixture of both. Maybe Krina didn’t care. She let go of her hold on Rose’s throat. Gasps and deep, strangled breaths filled the air. Krina took the time to saunter on over to the chair. She stopped inches from Rose’s face, outstretching her gloved hand. The side of her palm slowly moved down Rose’s face, causing the girl to thrash away.

“Get away from me, you monster,” Rose screamed, earning a giggle. Krina was delighted to hear such words and it showed in the way she smiled, the corners of her lips curling. Rose looked absolutely mortified. 

“Monster?” Krina repeated the word to taste how it felt coming from her own lips. “Most refer to me as a snake but I like monster.” Krina practically sang her words as the Force tingled against her skin. Her eyes slowly scanned up and down Rose’s face, silently and nonchalantly pulling at her mind. 

Krina was met with the memory of Captain Phasma. They weren’t friends, per say, but they stuck together. Being a woman in a higher ranking position in a place like the First Order wasn’t easy and they didn’t need to make it any harder on each other. Krina felt a shift in the Force. The same one she felt when the traitor killed Phasma. As anger shook through her core, Krina prepared herself. Rose struggled, shook, screamed, and did anything she could to get away from the inevitable, even as Krina connected a few leather-covered fingers to her temple. 

Green. Bright tints and dark shades covered everything. Vines wrapped up tree trunks that were adorned with branches covered in luscious leaves. The rich brown of the planet’s natural soil was stark in contrast to the vegetation. Resistance starfighter ships were all docked on a makeshift landing zone. 

A limestone cave, carved out and littered in supplies. A large ship sat in the middle, hooked up to wires, and buzzing the entire place to life. A command center, makeshift quarters, a training spot. Books, supplies, resources. 

A girl, wearing pure white and wielding a staff, stuck out against the terrain. She spun the staff and stabbed a small droid, smirking at her progress. She repeated the motion over and over again, attacking at the air. 

Krina blinked and was staring at a defeated, exhausted Rose. She soaked in all the information she just pulled out of the weakling's mind. A new Resistance base. The scavenger, looking so different from the last time Krina had caught a glimpse of her. She had grown, learned the ways of the Jedi. She was far more of a threat than she ever was before. That just meant Krina was going to have to kill her. But first, she had someone else to slaughter. 

“A new base? Hux is going to be elated to hear about this. Such a pity you won’t be alive to watch it burn to the ground,” Krina spoke as she retreated from beside the chair and stepped in front of it. 

“Rey would never let that happen,” Rose retorted, weakly. 

Rolling her eyes, Krina shot down the pitiful answer. “That's if she can even hear the attack coming. Your little boyfriend seems to be shouting her name all the time.” 

Rose seemed more bothered by that statement than she wanted to be. Trouble in paradise. She could feel the girl’s heartache but quickly dismissed it. Krina did note that this was a sore subject, possibly usable in the future, and continued on. 

“I suppose it's only fair to kill you the way Phasma would have wanted.” Krina ignited her saber and twirled it effortlessly before striking. Krina pushed the blade against Rose’s neck, only applying the smallest amount of pressure so that it didn’t sever right through her, branding her prisoner. 

The smell of burning and slowly rotting flesh burned Krina’s nostrils and she smiled. She always loved the times when it wasn’t her own body being cooked and torn through. Rose’s scream tore through the room but honestly, Krina was hoping for more pleaing and thrashing. These Resistance fighters really did want to take away the thrill. Then again, she had overworked Rose’s brain twice over. She pushed down a little more, feeling the blade slip just an inch further.

Krina’s control over her lightsaber was something to behold. She had been wielding it since her very beginning days of being Snoke’s apprentice. Her connection with it had grown alongside herself and her connection with the Force. It was practically an additional limb.  
Just as she was going in for the kill, Krina was interrupted by a bang on the door. With a grunt, she stepped away from Rose, who was grateful for the pause in torture. As soon as she stepped outside, she immediately felt disdain for the sight before her. 

“Ah, a Knight of Ren. Which one are you? I always get you all mixed up,” Krina mewled, cocking her hip to the side. She sifted through their wide display of helmets in her head and matched names. Vicrul. The Knight stayed quiet. She wondered if any one of them even knew how to talk. 

“Ma’am, you instructed that no one is let in,” One of the stormtroopers spoke out hesitantly. 

“I did, yes. And so far, you’ve done your job.”

“This Knight claims the Supreme Leader sent him to collect you,” That same trooper finished his explanation and Krina could see right through it. She eyed the Knight, searched his mind for any sort of information, and yet, he was blank. A trick Kylo Ren must have taught him. Though, she didn’t care much. She was sure the emotional nuisance wasn’t satisfied with the insufficient amount of annoyance he was able to add to her day. It was usually way more than even that intense, melodramatic moment. 

“Tell Supreme Leader Buckethead that we’ve done enough talking for the day,” She dismissed, ignoring the stormtroopers that simultaneously tilted their heads in curiosity. For supposedly well trained and properly brainwashed fighters, they really did have their own personalities. Vicrul was quick to turn on his heels and walk away as if he was actually going to listen to Krina’s orders for once. She stared at him skeptically for as long as he was in view.

“Finish off the prisoner,” Her words came out in mumbles as she began to follow Vicrul’s path, almost step for step.   
She traced just about what she thought was his every move, recording the path in her mind. She turned the corner where she had lost sight of him and was met with nothingness: just an empty hallway, a dead end.


	5. Defluo (To Fall Away, Disappear, Be Lost)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _“Fire!” The word came out of Hux’s mouth so harshly, it would’ve startled Krina if she hadn’t sensed it coming. The First Order always made the first move. They were far brasher than their enemy who had anticipated this very thing._
> 
> _The first cannon, the first blaster bullet, the first airstrike. The first kill._
> 
> _The Resistance reacted logically. Their retaliations were slow at first but sped up over seconds and suddenly, it was an all-out war._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi readers!
> 
> Here's the next update! I know today isn't Thursday but hey, the chapter is done and I'm excited to post it so I decided to share a day early!
> 
> This one was really fun to write so I hope you all enjoy!

_“Supreme Leader,” She started. “Kylo Ren. Kylo. Please. Please, Kylo. Help me,” Krina was begging so fast, her words slurred. She didn’t know how much time she had left and she wanted to be able to say it all. “Kylo, I- I’m sorry. Please, just save me and we can start over. Please I-”_

_The blast was so loud, everything froze._

Sweaty palms gripped at silk sheets as Krina jolted up in bed. Her heartbeat was so loud, it throbbed in her head. The red glow of her lightsaber filled the room as she instinctively reached for and ignited it. Her eyes scanned the space around her and slowly, she realized where she was. Her quarters. She was safe for now. 

Krina held her saber sideways, using its illumination to give herself a little more vision. She knew this room like the back of her hand and could navigate through it with her eyes closed, without the guidance of the Force, but it felt so foreign in the moment. Her quarters were nothing to gloat about- a single room with a small refresher attached- but it was hers and she should feel safe while laying in her own bed. When she proved to herself that she was in fact alone, she extinguished the blade and laid back down, tossing the hilt on the pillow beside her own. 

A bad dream- a nightmare. Merciless killing had its consequences and the Force was unforgiving with the emphasis it gave to the weight of guilt. Krina had gotten used to it and let it roll off her back- most of the time. Tonight was different. She squeezed her eyes shut and let the dream play back in her head. 

_Krina could see the Resistance troops so clearly as they gathered and prepared to march towards the First Order, who outnumbered them tenfold. Krina stood behind lines of stormtroopers. Her lightsaber crackled at her side, and she tightened her grip in anticipation._

_Directly next to her was the one and only Supreme Leader Kylo Ren whose one lightsaber was much louder, much angrier. It drowned hers out almost completely. They didn’t dare to look at each other or mutter a word. They were both perfectly still and silent as Hux shouted orders and prepared troopers. They both knew this was the battle that was going to end years of fighting, years of being unable to let go of the past. There was a sudden shift in the Force that left Krina winded. It was the beginning of the end.  
“Fire!” The word came out of Hux’s mouth so harshly, it would’ve startled Krina if she hadn’t sensed it coming. The First Order always made the first move. They were far brasher than their enemy who had anticipated this very thing. _

_The first cannon, the first blaster bullet, the first airstrike. The first kill._

_The Resistance reacted logically. Their retaliations were slow at first but sped up over seconds and suddenly, it was an all-out war._

_The sound of blasters was deafening. Krina couldn’t make out what side the sound, or the bullets, were coming from. It had to be both but keeping up was almost impossible and she could only stop and redirect so many. Stormtroopers scattered and attacked so quickly, they became streaks of white as they charged. Screams, pained grunts, and commands all mixed into the air and made it impossible to make out anything._

_The first shot to her exposed arm only felt like a pinch, a poke. She brushed it off, kept running towards the one person she wanted to murder the most: Rey. The three force-sensitive people in the area could sense it the second their eyes met. They knew Krina was going to put an end to the scavenger who tore Kylo Ren’s soul in two. She didn’t hesitate. Her feet practically glided against the ground as the Force surged her forward, pumping in her veins more powerfully than adrenaline ever could._

_Krina was interrupted by a Resistance fighter who ran at her with all their might, screaming a battle cry at the top of their lungs. Their shouts immediately silenced as Krina slid her lightsaber out of their chest. Rey was becoming clearer as she got closer. There was no one around the new Jedi, no one trying to attack her or aim anything her way. Serenity surrounded her, she was the calm in the eye of the storm._

_“Scavenger scum!” Krina screamed with her lightsaber up in the air like the head of a cobra, ready to strike. Rey stood her guard in her stance, eyes locked on Krina, who couldn’t quite place the emotions the girl was giving off. It sat somewhere between sadness and guilt. Krina didn’t care to know why._

_The clashing of their sabers created a splash of color, a scream of sound. Krina was one step ahead of her enemy, already forming her next move before Rey had any time to plan, to think. It didn’t matter. Rey was just as quick to counter as Krina was to strike._

_“You’ve trained well, Jedi, but not well enough,” Krina commented through gritted teeth. Rey was silent, only speaking through the look in her eye. They continued like this for what seemed like forever. Attacking, parrying, fueling their own power through the Force. Krina was growing tired. Rey was not._

The Force, and the impact of the nightmare, was not being kind or letting up on Krina at all. The weight on her chest had become enough and she slipped out the bed in a quick motion. Bare feet padded against the cold floor as she made her way into her refresher. 

She hesitated before she dared to look at herself in the mirror – she hardly gave a thought to her appearance on any given day. What stared back at her was unfamiliar. Disheveled hair poorly framed her face as it covered her scar and hung low by her eye. She batted it away but didn’t bother to fix the other messy strands that were out of place. Her usually dark brown irises were practically black in the dim light and her pupils were blown. There was a paleness to her skin that would’ve caused her to be sent straight to the med bay if anyone of importance saw. 

Dreams- nightmares- had never left such a noticeable impact on Krina. Frustration bubbled in her chest and she let out a frustrated scream, punching the glass in front of her. The impact left a spider web crack in its wake. She didn’t flinch at the pain or the action. She just retracted her fist and rolled her shoulders back.

_The shrieking sound of a blaster bolt tore through the air and echoed in Krina’s ears even after it silenced as the intense plasmic energy wracked through her body. She let out an angry snarl as it radiated through her muscles. Somehow, the first wound was suddenly much more prominent and she was hyper-aware of her disadvantage: the bleeding and aching injuries that were beginning to litter her body. Krina flipped around, eyes wildly searching for her attacker. She located a Resistance member, whose face felt familiar, and took them out easily enough, crushing their windpipe with a single swipe of her hand._

_Krina searched again, this time for First Order members, stormtroopers, officers, Kylo Ren, anyone. She was surprised by her realization that she was alone, surrounded by no one else but Rey who had reminded her of the task at hand with a violent slash to Krina’s waist._

_Another scream left Krina’s lips that were now beginning to stain with blood. Pain flooded her senses in place of panic. She looked at Rey as her nostrils flared and her eyes narrowed._

_“I’m going to kill you so mercilessly, your friends are going to be seeing your mangled body in their dreams,” Krina threatened, striking again. This time, her attack was sloppy and brash and felt as if someone else was attacking for her. This was hardly her style but she was tired, weak, and angry- so angry that her vision was beginning to blur._

_This time, it wasn’t Rey who blocked the attack. There stood the traitor, FN-2187, wielding a weapon that didn’t belong to him at all. The scavenger's staff soaked up the attack as much as it could, cracking in the process. Krina looked up from her illuminated blade and was met by Finn’s expressionless gaze as he attacked her again, swiping at her feet. Krina lost her balance, falling to the ground. She scrambled and reached for her weapon that was too far from her grasp as it had rolled closer to the enemy.  
As Krina began to stand, a strong hand pushed her back down, causing a snarl to tear from her throat. Her head bounced back as it hit the soil and she blinked rapidly, trying to keep conscious._

Krina ignored the physical pain as her knuckles throbbed and focused on the way the Force was crushing her morale. Using her uninjured hand, she turned on the facet as far as it would give, inviting the warm water to begin to fill up the sink and try to wash the remnants of the nightmare away. 

She couldn’t keep her gaze from slowly trailing back up to that reflection, so uninviting and cold. Years of training, killing, and living for the sake of the First Order should’ve cleansed her of any warmth anyway but there was something so frigid about the current version of herself that it brought hatred up through her veins. 

The Force wouldn’t allow her to have such a dream with little to no reason. She felt it to be true: she meant nothing to the First Order or anyone in it, regardless of how much she had given up for it. She was a cog in a machine much larger than herself.   
Her eyes snapped back down to the water and she impatiently shoved her fist into it, unbothered by the sting. The water worked to wash away glass shards and blood but it could never wash away Krina’s skeletons that had begun to show themselves. Eventually, the pain subsided but she continued to let the water run anyway and ignored the pang of guilt in her chest as she looked back into the distorted glass once again. 

The realization, the whole purpose of having to bear such a nightmare, hardly mattered to Krina. Her whole life had been dedicated to this very cause and she was going to continue fighting for it until her very last breath.

_“Scum!” She screamed at no one in particular, even though Poe Dameron was standing directly above her with a blaster pointed at her uncovered head. “All of you!”_

_Krina thrashed, begging the Force to help her. She just needed another rush of power, even if it was hardly any power at all. She just needed something. She snarled, gnashed her teeth, and continued to struggle.  
A boot smashed right against her chest, earning a wheeze from the wounded Commander. She could barely make out the new attacker but something in Krina’s aching body knew exactly who it was: Rose Tico. Of course, she would want a piece of Krina’s demise. They all did. _

_Tired eyes began to look frantically, searching once again for anyone who was coming to save her. Her eyes first landed on a large group of stormtroopers fighting just feet away from where she was surrounded. They had been ignoring her pleas as they fought their own enemies. Once she finally got herself to tear her gaze away from them, she found Hux standing alone, watching on. His arms rested behind his back and disappointment was written all over his face._

_“General,” Krina cried, reaching out a shaky hand. Hux remained still and his expression became unreadable. He wasn’t trying to save her either. None of them were. They all watched on and let it happen, silently cheering._

_There was one more person Krina needed to see before the end of her life. The only person her mind could stand to think of in the moment. Time was moving so fast yet so slow, she almost missed him standing there. There was no helmet covering his face nor a scar staring back at her own. His eyes shined in the darkness that was blurring the edges of Krina’s vision. Kylo Ren looked more peaceful at the moment of Krina’s death than he ever had in his life. She reached out the same hand she offered to Hux. Salty tears stung the cuts on her face. She had so much and yet so little to say, to feel, to think. None of it mattered anyway. Her time was up and she knew it as she began to speak._


	6. Reluctor (To Struggle Against)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo Ren. Krina quickly abandoned the crates and searched for him. Stormtroopers, deserted equipment, and no sign of the Supreme Leader. Panic. All that settled in Krina’s bones was unbridled panic. Was this all just a ploy? A way to get her alone so he could put an end to her? 
> 
> Had he really left her behind?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!
> 
> Chapter 6 is here! 
> 
> I'm currently working some exciting things for this story so be on the lookout for some *~content~*
> 
> In the meantime, enjoy some Kylo/Krina interaction!

Krina would rather be doing anything else right now- anything. She could make a whole list and organize it accordingly. Kriff, dying would be right at the top- even only a few days after her nightmare. Instead, she was standing beside Kylo Ren on a planet all too new for her. 

Salt crunched against thick, black soles, leaving a trace of Krina’s path through the newly exposed red crystal. It was beautiful, unlike anything she had seen before. The perfect layer of white could be mistaken for snow when looked at from afar but up close it was coarse and rough. She had to be careful of how she stepped, due to the slickness of the planet’s surface, as she followed Kylo’s lead and made her way to the corpse of a battle that had taken place only months before.

Much to her dismay, Krina was ordered to stay on the Finalizer while a small portion of the First Order took to Crait in hopes of cutting off the Resistance and destroying them. She was restless, wanting to be in the middle of it all. She was more than capable of causing serious damage to anything the Resistance threw her way. The First Order knew she was the perfect person to go in and do the job but pride got in the way of seeking true success. And of course, Kylo Ren stood in her way, ordering her to stand down. 

The Resistance had grown accustomed to dealing with Kylo. They knew his motives and the way to break him down. It was surely going to be his downfall. They didn’t know Krina in the same way. She was a mystery to them, something of their nightmares that only ended in bloodshed with a devilish smile. It was no secret that the Resistance’s hatred for her exceeded anything they felt for Kylo. Even then, she wanted nothing more than to stand in front of them again and watch fear cloud their judgment.

Krina continuously shifted her gaze between the terrain in front of her and Kylo’s large frame as they trudged on, resorting to using the end of her long, delicate cape as a cover for her face as a strong gust of wind sent flumes of salt spiraling. A small group of stormtroopers followed behind them as a precaution but kept their distance. As the wind-picked salt began to settle, the Resistance outpost and remnants of the battle came into view. The pair took attentive steps into the wreckage.

A few First Order machines were the first to catch Krina’s eye due to the dark grey shading out against pure white. AT-AT and AT-M6 walkers had begun to cover in salt as if it were snow, causing only about half of each walker to be accessible to her. Large chunks of the armored exterior were missing from blasts, the impact of collapsing, and even time. Krina stared down at the AT-M6 beside her, scanning what had remained of it. It was apparent that it had been shot down by something Resistance owned since the wounds were small and plentiful. She took note before she continued to walk towards her destination, trailing a little behind her superior who didn’t need to assess the damage he had inflicted.

Catching sight of a lone skim speeder, a V-4X-D to be exact, is what caused Krina to stop again. The quality of the speeder, what was left of it anyway, showed its age. It was practically in pieces. First Order blasters and cannons were far more powerful than anything the Resistance could dream of making. Krina was surprised this one held up as well as it had. She bent down, landing on her knees. She put one hand on the metal, shivering at the cold, and closed her eyes. She invited the Force to take over and it flooded her senses. 

A slowly moving image played in her mind of the skim speeder losing its balance as it, and its pilot, narrowly avoided First Order bullets and collided with the salted terrain. Fear and a sense of acceptance hit the pilot all at once before their heads lulled to the side as the speeder landed on top of them. Krina didn’t flinch at the sight or the ghastly emotions. The image slowly disappeared and Krina was staring back at the vehicle again. 

“Force echoing?” Kylo questioned as he looked at her from over his shoulder. Krina looked up at him, pursing her lips.

“You’d know I could do that if you actually paid attention to anyone but yourself.”

Years ago, Krina had mastered her ability to use psychometry. Most called it “Force echoing,” much like Kylo did, but it was hardly technical terminology. It was a skill very few Force-sensitives were born with and those who mastered it could acquire information about objects just by touching them. Krina had been one of those few and was the only known Dark sider who possessed such a power. It was just another piece that made her so vital to the First Order. She could feel the jealousy radiating off of the man ahead of her.

Krina straightened out and made her way over to Kylo. The pair walked side by side once again, their eyes on the only real reason they were on this waste of a planet in the first place. The massive, metal mine shaft door was sealed shut with one massive crack running all the way down it. 

“The battering ram cannon only managed to put a crack in it?” Disgust oozed out of Krina’s words.

“It was successfully opened.” The sternness of Kylo’s correction trailed off as his eyes scanned the mysterious door.

“Then, why is it closed?” 

“Isn’t that the reason why we are here?” Kylo snapped and Krina rolled her eyes. 

It made the pair look so small as it towered above. It was quite comical how someone as tall and intimidating as Supreme Leader Kylo Ren seemed so insignificant against it. Krina took a step forward and closed her eyes. 

“You do not truly think you can open this door after it took death star technology to open it the first time?” Kylo snorted, crossing his arms over his chest. Krina kept silent and deepened her breathing, using the Force to will the door open. As the door creaked and began to lift, Krina smirked proudly to herself. She could feel Kylo’s scowl burning a hole in the back of her head. It was an inconvenient day for him to decide to leave his helmet on this ship. As the stormtroopers approached, they all gasped at the sight. 

“Kylo Ren can’t do that,” One of them whispered under his breath, trying to keep his words to himself as much as possible. Krina threw her head back and let out a loud cackle as Kylo threw out a hand and squeezed around the trooper’s throat.

Krina really was a lot stronger than she let on. She was going to have to boast about this when she was back on the Finalizer, tell Hux how Kylo Ren’s blood boiled, and maybe try to impress a few Knights of Ren. If only the First Order would have let her attend the mission the first time around. Whether she was strong or not, the amount of power and manipulation of the Force it took to open the door knocked the wind out of her. She tried her best to not let her newfangled exhaustion show as she very slowly and cautiously stepped inside.

The outpost was a skeleton of what was already a bare-bones operation. It had been stripped, forgotten, further abandoned. Dust, grime, and dirt had begun to rest in cracks and on the tops of surfaces. All machines had been powered down or destroyed. 

Truthfully, Krina couldn’t quite understand how the Resistance found a place as desolate and outdated as Crait to be useful to them but then again, they were terrible at making just about any decision. And this time, they managed to get away but their fleet was continuing to dwindle. Had she been allowed to go, the Resistance would no longer exist. Then again, maybe Krina would no longer exist instead. This could have been the very place where she fell. The very place where the Resistance showed her no remorse, where Kylo Ren stood with them as they struck her down.

Kylo Ren. Krina quickly abandoned the crates and searched for him. Stormtroopers, deserted equipment, and no sign of the Supreme Leader. Panic. All that settled in Krina’s bones was unbridled panic. Was this all just a ploy? A way to get her alone so he could put an end to her? 

Had he really left her behind? 

Krina pushed past stormtroopers and searched everywhere. Her mind was racing and she didn’t stop for a second to think of utilizing the Force. She was so used to cutting him off from her mind and keeping her distance that searching for him in a way that made them both vulnerable felt foreign and sinister. 

While running a shaky hand through strands of hair that had fallen out of a haphazard ponytail, Krina let out a breath. Pain, manifesting as both physical and mental, caused the sigh to come out as a whine. The whole world seemed to freeze around Krina as she unraveled.

“Kylo.” One simple word came out in a broken whisper. Something tugged at Kylo as he searched the premises in a room that veered off from the main hangar. It echoed in his mind, practically screaming at him. Something was wrong. Immediately, he thought of Krina and all the ways she could be causing trouble.

Krina was so frantic, she didn’t realize Kylo, out of breath and disheveled, had arrived at her side. A gentle touch and soothing voice shook her out of her thoughts.

“Krina,” He practically whispered back to her. She looked up at him, eyes wide. “What have you done?”

“Nothing!” She scoffed, stepping away from him. “I don’t spend all my time causing problems for you.”

“I sensed a disturbance. I only thought-”

“Well, you were mistaken. Whatever you sensed was not from me. If you don’t recall, I tend to keep you cut off. I don’t need to be interrupted by your unbalanced connection with the Force.” Krina’s words were a string of defenses to cover a moment of weakness. Hopefully, that was something Kylo couldn’t sense. He did. 

“The Force does not lie, Krina. I would not have abandoned my search to come to your rescue if it was nothing.” 

“My rescue?! You can do that now when it’s misplaced but not when I was dying?!” Krina’s voice echoed through the bunker as her volume continued to get louder. She was yelling at the Supreme Leader of the First Order with no remorse. Kylo’s facial features twisted in confusion. 

“Dying? When were you dying?” His works cracked and frayed at the seams. The thought of Krina dying struck fear in both of them. Krina’s eyes doubled in size before she tried to normalize her expression and erase any signs of her former panic. This nightmare had continued to seep into moments in her life and blur the edges of reality, which she was losing her grip on.

“Unimportant,” Krina mumbled as she turned on her heels and walked back towards the crates she had been rummaging through. Kylo followed closely behind her.

“I only found pieces of broken speeders and a holopad that seems to be damaged,” Krina kept her eyes on the items as she listed them off. No part of her wanted to explain her words to Kylo Ren of all people. Kylo blinked at the change in conversation. 

“The holopad could be an important piece. If we can get it working, we can essentially come in direct contact with the Resistance.” Kylo commented, keeping his eyes on Krina. Nothing on this planet was worth what had just happened between them. He wasn’t going to let her off the hook. 

“So this wasn’t all for nothing?” 

“No, I suppose not. Although, one holopad hardly seems like a victory. We need to bring this back to the Steadfast immediately.” Kylo barked the orders loud enough for the stormtroopers to hear and marched out of the hangar. Krina hesitated before she followed behind with her head hung low. Silence became a close friend on the trip back.

The sudden echo in the Force, Krina’s broken expression, and her eerie words played back in Kylo’s mind over and over again like a broken record or a dream he couldn’t shake. 


	7. Infectum Reddere (To Render Impossible)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You sent me on a mission with him in hopes that it could- I don’t even know- fix our differences?” 
> 
> “I sent you on a mission with him to give you both a little more… perspective.”
> 
> Krina let out a huff and uncrossed her arms for emphasis as she flailed.
> 
> “Oh yeah, I totally gained some perspective! On the size of his-”
> 
> “I do not want to know anything about that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! 
> 
> Honestly, I love writing Hux and Krina moments. Their friendship is wholesome and Hux loves giving Krina all sorts of shit. 
> 
> Enjoy! <3

Debriefings with Hux were easier moments for Krina. Moments where she could take down most of her shields and just- be. Sure, their sentences and brief pauses held the First Order’s fate but there was nothing wrong with just being themselves while they spoke. 

That’s why Krina sat in her basic linens with little to no makeup on her face and all of her hair down. That’s why her legs were up on the table and her papers were scattered all over the table in no particular order. Hux had somewhat of a smile on his face as he sat across from her, comfortable in his own ways.

“What did you learn from the prisoner?” Hux initiated the conversation, folding his hands on the table. Krina raised an eyebrow.

“The traitor’s girlfriend? I learned that she thinks the scavenger will save them all.” Hux huffed before Krina could continue and she threw her arms up at him. “That’s what I said!” 

“I technically did not say anything, Krina. I made a noise.”

“A noise that speaks volumes.”

“Did you learn anything of substance?”

Krina nodded as a wide, villainous smile pulled at the corners of her lips. “The Resistance has a new base. I wasn’t able to find out exactly where it is but I was able to uncover the entire terrain and all of the important spots. A hangar, a few quarters, training grounds. The scavenger seems to be training well. Maybe the Supreme Leader’s fixation on her is warranted.” 

“You did well collecting such vital information. Well done, Krina. Your allegiance to the First Order does not go unnoticed.” 

“Are you so sure about that?”

“Oh, please. The Supreme Leader’s fixation holds us back. What Ren does is all in self-interest. You? You act selflessly for the cause.” Hux’s words rang in Krina’s ears. Ren. Kylo Ren. She sat up from her comfortable position and rested her arms by her sides.

“I act selflessly for the Order because the Order has been selfless in regards to my life,” She spoke softly, his words trailing off in the air. Hux stared at her for a quick second before speaking up once again. 

“You think we wouldn’t be? You’re a critical piece of the everchanging puzzle, a constant. Our only other force user is unreliable.” 

“You believe our Supreme Leader is fickle?” 

“And you don’t?” 

“I believe he is incompetent and selfish, capricious, and overzealous. An absolute menace who focuses so solely on himself that it's harmful,” Krina spoke lowly and clenched her fists, digging her nails into her palms. 

“Is that all?” Hux questioned, raising an eyebrow at the Commander. 

“Yes, General,” Krina mumbled, suddenly becoming interested in the table in front of her.

“Very well,” Hux smirked before he continued. “How was your recent mission with the overzealous and incompetent menace then?”

“Underwhelming. We found a broken Resistance holopad that’s currently being repaired. A pretty useless mission, if you ask me.” Krina crossed her arms over her chest and slumped down. 

“Ah. It’s almost as if you two were sent on that mission for other reasons,” Hux hummed, trying desperately to keep a calm expression as Krina slowly began to comprehend his words.

At first, she gave him a confused look followed by a tilt of her head. Her body began to tense up. The gears slowly began to turn in her head and Hux could see it on her face as her expression morphed from confusion to realization and then to anger.

“You sent me on a mission with him in hopes that it could- I don’t even know- fix our differences?” 

“I sent you on a mission with him to give you both a little more… perspective.”

Krina let out a huff and uncrossed her arms for emphasis as she flailed.

“Oh yeah, I totally gained some perspective! On the size of his-”

“I do not want to know anything about that.”

“Kriff, Hux. The size of his ego!” Krina buried her face in her heads to hide the bright red that was taking over her features. 

“Very well then,” Hux coughed out. Krina spread out her fingers to peek up at him. 

“The Supreme Leader seems to be quite the topic for us. Care to move on?” She suggested in a squeak. Krina was exhausted by the thought of Kylo Ren. Truly exhausted.

“Actually, no,” Hux stated simply. Krina quickly moved her hands away from her face and shot her counterpart an angry glare. “Has he done something?”

“What hasn’t he done?”

“Something more than his usual level of annoyance, Krina.”

“General, I don’t see how that’s appropriate-” Krina was quick to change her tone. 

“If we are going to talk about what is or is not appropriate, perhaps you’d be more willing to talk about your recent behavior.” 

Hux knew Krina well enough to know she was becoming defensive in order to shy away from the subject but he wasn’t going to allow such behavior this time. He motioned for her to speak against him. Krina straightened out her back and stared directly into Hux’s eyes. 

There was a current, frightening darkness to Krina. Her pupils were blown, swallowing her irises. Her skin had paled and her hands shook. She couldn’t stop the dream from replaying in her head. She stared at her only friend as the image of him watching her demise became more real than their current situation. 

“I don’t think it's necessary to talk about in a meeting such as this one,” Krina croaked, swallowing hard. She so desperately wanted to keep the images in her mind at bay but she was desperately failing.

“This is as good of a time as any. What is troubling you?”

“I-” 

Kylo Ren’s peaceful expression, the First Order’s reluctance to help, Krina’s pathetic begging- it surged through her all at once and clashed with the Force. Krina clenched her fists.

“I had this dream that’s bleeding into reality and I don’t know how to stop it,” She explained, letting out a breath she wasn’t aware she was holding in. 

“I see,” Hux hummed. “And what does any of that have to do with the Supreme Leader?”

“He left me to die! He stood beside them and watched!” Krina cried out. Hux’s expression softened. He couldn’t stand to see Krina, his closest friend, so hurt- so helpless. 

“He wouldn’t do that, Krina. You’re too important to the First Order to leave behind,” Hux reassured her in the softest whisper, trying to calm her down. His attempt was rendered useless as Krina ran a hand through her hair and looked at him with bewildered eyes.

“But he did! I’m not important to him!” She countered. 

“Do you need to be? Think about it. You know who you are and what you stand for, what you mean to us and what you give to the cause. You don’t need him to give his approval of you.”

“I- I guess not.” Krina’s shoulders slumped as she shrunk down in her chair. 

She knew Hux’s words were meant to be comforting but they echoed against all the pain in her head. It had been quite a while since she felt so small. She squeezed her eyes shut and let out a shaky, faltering breath. 

“I have no reason to be important to someone like him.”


	8. Stultus (To Be A Fool)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Supreme Leader Kylo Ren. An unstoppable force that was never to be underestimated.
> 
> Ben Solo. The grandson of Anakin Skywalker, the chosen one said to bring true balance.
> 
> Kylo Ren. An absolute idiot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Monday, everyone!
> 
> I always get so excited to share Krina/Kylo chapters. I hope you enjoy this very angsty interaction between our favorite brooding edge lords (;

Supreme Leader Kylo Ren. An unstoppable force that was never to be underestimated. The grandson of Darth Vader, a powerful Sith whose legacy would forever withstand the test of time. A legacy that Kylo had no choice but to live up to. It was the reason he believed Snoke, turned to the Dark Side, and killed his own father. He was a monster in every way. 

Ben Solo. The grandson of Anakin Skywalker, the chosen one said to bring true balance. An innocent, naive boy who was abandoned by his parents’ busy lives as they worked to save an organization that couldn’t save him. A boy who had to find ways to make himself feel whole. A feeble and uncertain firecracker who was quick to spark and explode. A lost and misunderstood soul, searching and yearning for any sort of solace. A name to be buried alongside his past. 

Kylo Ren. An absolute idiot. A strung-out and overly exhausted mess who couldn’t stop self-sabotaging long enough to notice  anythi ng right in front of him. That seemed to be a recurring theme in his life- never being able to truly grasp anything he reached or. His entire life had slipped through his fingers. Krina was going to do just the same. 

A frustrated huff left Kylo’s lips as he jutted forward, slashing at a training dummy. He quickly jabbed at it and watched as the dummy became mangled and destroyed. Sweat gathered on his forehead and threatened to drip down his face. He wiped away at it with his free hand before repositioning himself and attacking again. 

“Is there any particular reason you decided to use this one? You know, the one that has always been mine? Don’t you have your own training room? ” An exhausted voice and rapid string of questions broke Kylo out of his concentrated training. Whipping his head around, his eyes were met by Krina, who leaned against the doorway and crossed her arms over her chest.

“My apologies,” Kylo spoke earnestly, powering down his lightsaber and turning to completely face her. 

“Are you going to give me an answer?”

“I was on this side of the ship and needed to blow off steam. I’ll go-”

“Not necessary. There is plenty of room for the both of us,” Krina spoke as she pushed herself up off the wall and sauntered down to where Kylo stood. 

She didn’t stop until she was only inches from him. She studied his hard features before igniting her lightsaber, turning on her heels, and marching to the opposite side of the room. Kylo swallowed hard as he watched her. Focusing was out of the question now. 

He watched as she set up her own training session and got to work. She was someone completely different than she was only a few days before and it made Kylo’s head spin. He just wanted to understand her in any and every way that he possibly could. For the sake of himself but honestly, for the sake of their relationships with the First Order.

It was no secret that Kylo’s relationships with either side were skewed. He had been forgotten by the Light and bested by the Dark. He was so torn in two. Then there was Krina who no one would dare to question. Her allegiance to the Dark Side, to the First Order, was so apparent and it never faltered. There was no pull to the Light, no anguish. 

Kylo snapped out of his thoughts as he reignited his saber, tore his eyes away from his counterpart, and turned to face the targets laid out in front of him. He trained quite differently than Krina. He could sense her motion behind him as she was slow and precise in her attacks, calculating and analyzing every step of the way to ensure the most practical, and most painful, death. Kylo grit his teeth and narrowed his eyes, stepping graciously but attacking furiously. 

As they both trained diligently, the only noises that filled the room were tired breaths and the distinct clash in hums of their lightsabers. Krina’s was calm and stable while Kylo’s hissed and crackled. He laughed to himself at the irony and continued his attempt to ignore the elephant- or rather, the snake- in the room. 

It was not without struggle that Kylo got in a few good strikes on the targets. But with Krina present, it was difficult to not compare himself against her. He couldn’t shake the feeling that she was watching his every move, waiting for him to mess up miserably. 

Krina couldn’t care less that Kylo was using her training room. Her focus was strong enough that another presence would normally not bother her. However, despite using all her might to uphold the wall she had built up through the Force, his apparent struggle was still breaching through. 

“I can practically hear you trying to concentrate and failing miserably,” Krina called out. Kylo stopped dead in his tracks and turned to face her once again. She was walking towards him with a purposeful sashay of her hips. Kylo wanted someone to strike him down right then and there so he could stop staring. 

“I thought you cut off our connection through the Force,” He reminded her as he wore a cocky expression in a feeble attempt to seem unbothered. 

“This has nothing to do with the Force. You’re just trying too hard.”

“I see. Why don’t you teach me then?”

Krina raised an eyebrow as a fiery look sparked in her eyes. 

“What could I teach  _ you _ ?” 

“Would you rather I continue distracting you with my apparent struggle?”

“Okay, fine.” 

Suddenly, a red glow masked Kylo’s face and his eyes widened at the realization. He stepped back in order to ready himself and blocked Krina’s attack with his own lightsaber. Krina struck again. This time, she spun the saber effortlessly in one hand before placing the other at the very bottom of the hilt to strike. Kylo smirked as he countered. This was going to be fun. 

“Careful. I distinctly remember giving you that scar you so proudly wear,” He spoke calmly as his body moved like clockwork to combat Krina’s every move. 

“And I distinctly remember a simple scavenger giving you yours,” She bit back.

Krina was making all the first moves. Kylo expected every last one of them. They have fought many times in training and every single time, Kylo prevailed. Snoke focused on the promising Skywalker bloodline and left Krina to learn, make mistakes, and grow on her own.

There was something to be said for Krina’s fighting style. She was a true warrior who had been refining her style her entire life. Kylo examined and made note of her every move as they danced around each other, striking and blocking cautiously. Her steps forward were smaller and angled, giving her the ability to pivot far more smoothly than her opponent. She was slower to attack yet each one had precise strength that executed just enough energy. She was truly something to behold as loose strands of hair fell to the front of her face and her skin began to bead with sweat.

Kylo was hyper-aware of how different his own fighting style was. There were elements of his jedi training sprinkled in the most sinister of tactics. Broad, unorthodox strokes met with large strides and quick jabs. Everything was urgent and feral with him.

He wasn’t necessarily losing but he didn’t certainly didn’t have the upper hand. A sense of panic rose in his chest and he reached his hand out, sending a burst of energy through the Force. Krina’s eyes widened as she was unexpectedly pushed back into the wall. She reacted as quickly as she could by using her feet, and the Force, to gain as much balance against the wall as she could. She flung herself back off the wall and landed back on the floor, sliding slightly. Kylo tried to wipe the wavering expression off his face.

“Don’t play dirty!” Krina protested as she summoned her saber back into her hand.

“You never mentioned no use of the Force,” Kylo shrugged, aimlessly twirling his saber. 

“I expected you to know the rules.” 

“Krina, I’ve broken every rule in the book.”

“I’ve noticed, Ben.”

“Do not call me that,” Kylo warned. 

“Oh please,” Krina scoffed, dismissing him. “You think you can do whatever you want but the second you’re given the same treatment, you turn into a child.” 

Tension was no stranger to the relationship shared between the two but this time, Kylo wanted nothing more than for it to disappear. He hated how it felt like they were taking from each other and giving nothing back in return. When they were together, they both ran off of pure emotion, even if Krina wanted to deny it. Kylo could sense what it did to the Force and to both of them.

Kylo never answered back to Krina’s reasoning. Instead, he attacked mercilessly, not giving Krina the chance to strategize or even realize what was happening. He smiled sinisterly as she stumbled and struggled to attack back with matched power. Kylo kept his attacks simple but powerful and never took his eyes off of Krina’s face. Her look of pure shock slowly turned to one of determination and sent shivers down Kylo’s spine. 

One right after the other, he rushed his movements in an effort to knock Krina down. It was almost as if he had purposely held back earlier so that by the time she grew tired he could gain the upper hand. She was left stumbling as she tried to form her own plan of attack while quickly blocking his. Eventually, it became too much, she couldn’t keep up, her reflexes were failing her. Kylo had actually taken over, and Krina was pissed. 

“Still think I’m a child, Krina?” Kylo taunted. The mirth in his eyes only upset Krina further. Their sabers were locked in between them, giving them a chance to catch a small breath.

“If you have to ask, then that says a lot,” she countered. 

Krina pulled away and with a battle cry slashed straight down at him. She smelled his burning flesh before she saw it. Kylo’s scar, now reopened, was what met her eyes when she looked up at him. And that was all she could do, was look at him. 

Pain. Hot, searing pain that was all too familiar. It was the same sting Kylo had felt too many times in his life. It started at the source, a scar he was given and radiated all over his body. Normally, pain of this caliber would bring out untapped power through the Force. This time, there was nothing.

Kylo was expressionless. The smirk on his face had left the moment Krina moved to strike, but nothing had taken its place. Nothing. That was how the scavenger had made him feel, even though she was the one with nothing, a nobody. She had given him this scar, a reminder that anyone could reach him. And now Krina had. Of course, she had reached him in other ways throughout his time with the First Order. This time was different. This time she had not only reached him but made sure he knew it. Kylo was speechless.

Krina continued to stare. Her mind was racing and her heart was pounding. She had always wanted revenge for the scar Kylo had gifted her, despite the scavenger already marring his face. However, if Krina were being honest with herself, she always imagined this moment happening during a real argument, not during a simple sparring match. Sure, training left both littered with bruises and scratches, but never serious injuries. It was unfair to him. 

“Well, Krina, you have definitely made your point,” Kylo called from across the room. Krina hadn’t even noticed he had moved, despite her eyes never leaving him. His words shook her from her stupor. 

“Kylo-” It was the only thing Krina could say.

He shook his head at her. “I learned my lesson.”

“But-”

“Goodnight, Krina.”


	9. Timor (To Fear or Dread)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Kylo,” She croaked, squeezing her eyes shut at the pain of their movements. 
> 
> “Just hold on, Krina. Hold on,” he said. And that was the last thing she heard. As if her closing her eyes were a sign to her body, she faded into unconsciousness and went limp in her savior's arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, my loves!
> 
> This is my absolute favorite chapter so far. I hope you all love it as much as I do!
> 
> Also - there are some very fun things coming on Monday when Chapter 10 is posted! 
> 
> As always, enjoy and let me know what you think of this emotional roller coaster of a chapter! 
> 
> \- Ally Rose

Undeniable and biting cold was all Krina could feel against her skin, even while wrapped in more weather-appropriate garments than her usual attire. She always hated the colder planets simply because she could never get herself to grow used to them. Even as the heat from her lightsaber radiated off the blade and attempted to warm her, it only helped enough to take her focus away from how stiff her fingers felt as she fought. 

Any cold, wet thing bothered Krina. As a burning flame for the First Order, she did not appreciate attempts by the surrounding environment to snuff her out. As coldhearted as she may be, that was enough for her. 

There was hardly a true fight but it required enough energy that Krina’s body worked to produce some sort of heat and energy. Futile Resistance fighters and a handful of villagers all fought valiantly but it was hardly enough to even dirty up Krina or her small stormtrooper fleet. Nonetheless, it got her blood flowing- it wasn’t all worthless. 

Unfortunately, the fun ended too soon. While there had been a fight, it was not enough for Krina. From the moment it was assigned, the mission never made sense to her. It was a simple task, but surely the Knights or another high ranking officer could have seen it through. All it felt like was a waste of time for her. 

She was also still reeling from her training with the mighty Kylo Ren, who was now sporting a fresher version of an old wound. Sometimes, when Krina closed her eyes, she could see his skin reopening and being painted with crimson. Although he for the most part deserved it, a part of her wished she had held back. The injury was almost overkill, almost. The worst part was that he didn’t even really react. He just left.  _ Why didn’t he attack? _

She knew she was overthinking, but it bothered Krina to no end. For someone who always used his position of authority to his advantage, it was odd to see him just walk away. It didn’t make any sense.  _ Why did he walk away? _ Obviously it was better that he get his wound treated sooner rather than later, but not get one final attack in? That was unheard of. Kylo Ren always stayed for the kill. 

Being on a cold, miserable planet did not help. Although she did prefer to go on missions when her emotions were heightened and she could take it all out on worthless scum. So, as she slowly trailed through snowy terrain, she watched for anyone she could sink her lightsaber into. She had to admit, the sight before was quite the scene. Pure white snow covered the mountain ranges, sticking to any and everything it could, which also included Krina. Despite the beautiful scene, dew and snow were sticking to her all over and it did not help in lessening her hatred of colder weather. Her lightsaber became more and more useless as a heat source as time went on. The cold had reached Krina’s bones, sending her into a permanent chill. All of this further drove her need to destroy something or someone. She would even kill a pesky bug if it buzzed in front of her. As carefully as she could she sought out any semblance of something she could kill. 

There was a sudden, abrupt disturbance in the Force that froze Krina. She studied her surroundings and braced herself. It wasn’t another Force-sensitive. It was almost as though the Force was warning her. It wasn’t quick enough.

Pain radiated all over Krina’s body but it was searing in one particular spot: the right side of her abdomen. Whoever shot at her was a terrible shot. Their aim was nearly as bad as a stormtrooper’s. One badly aimed bullet was never enough to down her, let alone kill her. And yet the damage this time was enough that Krina’s vision was already doubling. She pulled herself together and stood guard. 

“Come on! Is that all you’ve got? Show yourself, coward,” Krina yelled out to whoever was there lurking. She sensed them moving, repositioning in an attempt to stay hidden. Her lightsaber was gripped tightly in her hand ready to defend and attack when the time came. 

She sensed the second bullet seconds before it hit. Instinctively, she threw her hand out and willed the Force to protect her. The bullet hummed violently as it was stopped dead in its tracks. Krina stared at it for maybe a little too long before pushing it back towards her attacker. It exploded against rocks, causing them to split and burst apart. Krina quickly glanced at the damage before turning to walk away. There wasn’t a body.

The third bullet came from behind and caught her off guard. It sent another wave of full-body pain before subduing to a spot right next to the first hit. It had been quick- too quick for her to suspect or sense beforehand. When she looked down at her side, she felt bile creeping up her throat. Normally, blaster wounds didn’t phase her in the slightest. However, the combination of the two hits had left a large gash, exposing her insides. She looked as though someone was ripping her in half. It left her breathless, frozen in shock. The Force had failed her, or maybe she had failed the Force. At this point, it didn’t really matter. Shock turned into panic that rose in her chest at the realization that this felt all too familiar. Krina’s heart was pounding. Her ears were ringing. Her breathing was erratic. Was her nightmare actually a vision? A warning? 

She had been here before, and not just in the dream. Her mind took her back to one of the first missions Snoke had assigned to her. He had described it as a simple recon trip but it was a setup. Only Krina didn’t know that. She went in blindly, not expecting to defend herself. She fought tooth and nail that day, and finished it on the brink of death had the First Order not come to rescue. This was just another one of those times where death was greeting her with a soft smile and an outstretched hand. All she had to do was take it.

Krina stumbled backward, from the impact of both her injuries and her memories. Her stormtroopers surrounded her and shot aimlessly at the rocks all around them in an attempt to protect her and rid the enemy. She could’ve sworn one of them was talking to her but the ringing in her ears was getting louder with every second. Before it felt like she was underwater, now she couldn’t hear anything. Her entire body was being taken over by the pain. The last thing she could do was try to control her breathing so that she didn’t pass out from a lack of air. 

Shallow breaths turned into deep and unsteady ones, exhaled as puffs of visible condensation. With every breath, Krina’s nostrils burned from the bitter cold. It scratched at her throat, leaving her mouth dry. Despite all her efforts, she couldn’t get enough oxygen in her system, it seemed. Fire needs oxygen to burn, and the flame inside of her was fading quickly. The last bit of warmth left in her was expiring, and the cold was relentless. Krina closed her eyes in frustration. She should not be so weak, she trained hard for moments like this. Slowly her breathing evened out, and she stopped fighting the cold. It was consuming. 

She reached out to death, like an old friend. The figure stood over her, it was all she could focus on. He picked her up carefully, holding her close to him like a knight would his damsel. Krina knew better than to fight against it, and instead, she let herself settle against the broad chest. It felt too familiar. 

She only pried her eyes open just to see who was carrying her. She couldn’t exactly make out enough to know exactly who it was but she tried to focus her vision on the mask that covered the man’s face. She smiled weakly as her mind began to put the pieces together.

“Kylo,” She croaked, squeezing her eyes shut at the pain of their movements. 

“Just hold on, Krina. Hold on,” he said. And that was the last thing she heard. As if her closing her eyes were a sign to her body, she faded into unconsciousness and went limp in her savior's arms. 

Vicrul looked down at the sudden shift in weight in his arms. Krina’s body was relaxing, giving up. His heart began to beat out of his chest in a panic at the realization that she was fading quickly. If she died at his expense, his master would kill him instantly. He knew it was selfish, thinking about what would happen to him. But really, he would rather not see the Supreme Leader’s anger, especially if it stemmed from Krina.

He was acutely aware that the girl had no idea he was the one clutching her to his chest and trying to keep her alive. That she had no idea he was frantically trying to get in touch with the Supreme Leader to tell him the news. That he was desperately trying to prepare himself for whatever reaction Kylo would have. Vicrul could vividly imagine numerous ways he would react and was thankful he was far, far away from that. He shook his head to get the thoughts out of his head. He needed to focus on Krina.

That was probably one of the better parts about his assignment to Krina, following her every move. Nowadays, all he did was focus on her. And in cases like this, he had the ability to intervene when she went overboard. Krina wasn’t nearly as bad as Kylo when it came to getting tangled in messes they couldn’t get themselves out of. She was very smart and calculating on and off the battlefield, regardless of how vital the mission was. Though she had her moments. Moments where it seemed she would barely make it out alive. Moments where she was the last one standing and the odds were stacked against her. This was one of them- and it was the worst one, at that.

“This better be good, Vicrul,” Kylo Ren’s voice shook the Knight out of his thoughts as he finally responded to his knight’s continuous calls. He sounded slightly annoyed and out of breath, and Vicrul knew instantly that he would have to choose his next words carefully. 

“It’s Krina, sir.” Vicrul swallowed hard before he spoke again. “She’s been injured.”

Silence. A whole moment of dead silence before one, broken word came through the comlink.

“Injured?” 

“Sir, she- she was shot twice. She’s unresponsive in my arms-” He rushed to get his words out. 

“Where are you now?” Kylo demanded.

“Just boarded my ship,” Vicrul paused. 

“What is it?”

“I can feel her slipping-”

“Keep her alive, Vicrul.” Kylo ended the call.

His master’s words hung heavily in the air, long after the connection had been broken. He squeezed the comlink in his shaking hand and steadied his breathing. Kylo hadn’t said it but Vicrul knew he was going to be waiting for them to arrive back on the Steadfast, most likely with clenched fists and a pained expression. And if Krina wasn’t at least somewhat okay and breathing, then there were only going to be five Knights of Ren.

Vicrul managed to place Krina down as gently as possible on a bench in the ship, so as not to irritate any of her wounds, as well as apply enough bacta to prevent them from getting worse. His only thought was that he had to get her back safely. Despite traveling at hyperspeed, time passed slowly. A ping had come in about halfway, letting Vicrul know that Krina’s troopers had finished wiping the area and were returning. The distraction only lasted for five seconds before he remembered how he found them, standing around their leader to protect her. She had already looked dead had he not seen her shift in pain. He looked back at her laying form, using what little Force he could to check her. He could feel her life force still, but just barely. If what he felt from her while talking to Kylo was faint, then this was almost nonexistent. She could be cut off by fate at any second.

The second they landed, the ship door was yanked open with a screech and before Vicrul could make a move Kylo was already at Krina’s side. He was silent, but the anguish radiated off of him as though he was the one severely wounded and helpless. In fact, he was helpless. He looked down at her, curled up on herself, still and barely breathing. Normally she would be standing right up against him, despite him being almost a whole foot taller than her in height. Kylo was used to her standing tall, towering over him in strength, power, moxy, and so much more. She was a true powerhouse. Seeing her so weak and lifeless made Kylo’s stomach lurch. 

He was scared to pick her up. He could feel her life force as Vicrul did – practically nonexistent. One wrong move and she would be gone forever. Lady Snake would terrorize no more. He carefully lifted her into his arms. The shift pulled at the bacta on her wound and Kylo cursed as he saw a brighter red leaking out slowly. 

He quickly made his way to one of the places on this ship he knew all too well: the medbay. He had his own private sector so that he could threaten doctors’ lives without wandering eyes. He ordered people around as he entered, his voice dooming because he was all but screaming. The sheer level of panic only doubled as nurses, doctors, and medical droids flooded the already crowded room. 

Of course, they were panicking – the Supreme Leader was holding the Commander of the First Order in his arms and she looked entirely lifeless. Krina’s life was not the only one on the line at this point. He handed her over gently and at the lack of touch, his shaking hands immediately curled into tight fists. Everyone and everything was so frantic. Not one of them had even noticed Kylo wasn’t covered by his mask. Anyone could see he was freely showing his emotions as his face distorted in fear. He didn’t care and neither did they. He knew the only one who would’ve cared was Krina.

She would’ve made fun of the tears that were pooling in his eyes and threatening to fall. She would have called him weak and sensitive. Hearing her voice would normally cause him to focus, but right now he would probably sob. He wasn’t sure where the strong emotions came from- whether it was the fact that he was seconds from losing someone else or it was from the utter annoyance at the fact that it proved he truly cared about her. 

_ “My rescue?! You can do that now when it’s misplaced but not when I was dying?!”  _

Krina’s words echoed in Kylo’s mind as he stood in the far corner of the room. They had haunted him ever since she shouted them back on Crait. She had been shaken then, he could imagine her state of mind just moments earlier. She may have thought the Force had failed her in that moment, but Kylo could only blame himself. Chills spread through his body and for the first time in a long time, he felt cold. Despite all of his layers and the intense heat of the moment, he was practically shivering. He was just as frozen in time as Krina. A cool darkness was creeping in and consuming him. It was as if his heart had slowed to match hers and began to frost over. As if his sun, the one thing that kept it warm and beating, was slowly falling from grace.

_ Stay alive Krina, for me.  _


	10. Morior (To Die, Wither Away, Decay)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I'm not asking why Kylo is here. I am asking why Ben Solo is." She didn’t care for the vexed look on his face. “I can see the red in your eyes, the mighty Kylo Ren would never show such emotion.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 10 is finally here!
> 
> I'm honestly so excited we've made it this far. This story means a whole lot to me and I have put so much of myself into it. As a way to celebrate, here's a [master list](https://krinatheladysnake.tumblr.com/post/625444204309528576/art-masterlist) of art, a Spotify playlist, and the official book cover! I hope you all love it as much as I do!
> 
> Due to some life changes and just the amount of love/work I want to put into this story, I am going down to posting one chapter a week (instead of two). They will be posted every Monday around 12pm EST. Hopefully, this will allow me to make chapters longer and juicier for you!
> 
> Enjoy Chapter 10 and get ready for what's to come!
> 
> -Ally Rose

Time had slowed. Each passing moment seeped into the last. No amount of pleading with the Force made anything clear. Nothing made sense. As he paced the halls of the Steadfast, he eventually made his way into a random conference room. As soon as he set his eyes on a chair, he sat down, struggling to steady his breathing. Supreme Leader Kylo Ren officially felt like the scared, unsure boy he once was. 

Something Ben Solo could never control was his breathing. Even as he began to manipulate the Force in ways that hardly had been explored before, his breath would hitch in his throat, skip entirely, or even cease. 

He grabbed the armrests of the chair for stability. 

Everyone in his life had their own theories and ideas as to what it could mean. His loving, yet somewhat neglectful parents would argue about his inability to control something that should be so simple. Leia, who knew bounds more about such struggle, would put a tender hand on her son’s shoulder, as he looked at her with pleading eyes, and tell him that some silly riddle-like mantra about how persistence and patience could make all the difference. As if a somewhat strong connection to the Force could fix a product of being human. 

There was something about the way Han looked at his own son that struck Ben and only made it harder to even want to regulate his breathing. Ben could never place the emotions hidden behind the expression but he could only assume it was disappointment in not only his son but himself for aiding in the creation of someone so unsure. During training, Master Luke, his uncle and the most skilled man he knew, would look down at him with disdain and expectation as he held his chest and mentally begged the Force to give him a break. 

_“Even a padawan with great promise can have trouble mastering some elements of the Force,” Luke spoke, unphased by Ben’s sudden change in behavior._

_“This has nothing to do with the Force, Master,” Ben choked out, his words catching in his throat._

_“Ah, but the Force is a part of everything, Ben. It even lingers in moments that feel most human. While it may not be the cause, it is part of the effect.”_

Eventually, the frustration flipped something of a switch inside of him. Kylo Ren wasn’t just a consequence of neglect, a self-made war, and years of untreated pain. Kylo Ren was an excuse for momentary lapses of judgment and jagged breathes.

When it mattered most, Snoke promised peace in whispers through the Force, through the naivety of a boy just trying to find his way in a life that shouldn’t have been his. Snoke spoke of things the Light could never give him. Inside the Darkness was an identity he felt worthy of as he stood tall above the rest, above Krina. 

He had always remembered their upbringing differently than he suspected she did. Just like at the Jedi Training Academy, he was much quicker to master the Dark Side and become a worthy apprentice. He had always remembered an unnecessary amount of resentment seeping off of Krina. It was a kind of resentment that held her back rather than fuel the Dark Side within her. If she had heard his opinion on it, she would deny it quickly. He had always remembered it all entirely different than she did. Maybe he always knew the truth. It didn’t matter much now. 

It was Kylo who told Hux of Krina’s current fall from grace. He wished he could erase the General’s terrified expression from his memory. Instead, it stared back at him every time he closed his eyes. Krina was important to the First Order, but only to a certain extent. To Hux, she was the only other soul he could confide in. She was his friend. He wanted to hurt Kylo, make him feel his pain, even if it would get them nowhere. It was his fault she was barely alive, and he would hold that over him for a long time. But however much he wanted to lash out, Krina was more important. 

“Help her.” That was all Hux let out before walking away in despair.

Now, Kylo stood in yet another First Order ship, thinking of the damage to someone else’s worn and tired body. Someone who had unknowingly steadied his breathing. Krina. 

The chair creaked under his grip.

Medical personnel had been attending to her wounds for what seemed like a minute that had sped by and yet dragged on eternally. In reality, it had taken days to get her to a stable point. Hushed whispers of her current state, rushed and panicked commands for tools and procedures, a regime and schedule to follow in order to keep her alive for the days to come.

Kylo had always known Krina had danced with death almost as much as he had. He had seen her come in and out of the medbay, watched her blood cover battlefields, and was even the cause of some of her worst scars. He knew, better than anyone, how the moments in which death flashed a smile were some of the most enticing. Both of them could’ve given in at any point. 

He still remembered the way his body started to shut down after fighting the traitor and the scavenger on Starkiller Base. Pain pulsated from its sources and ran through his veins like the most addictive drug. His head swirled as the Force was the only thing that kept him moving, kept him alive.

After watching Krina’s body struggle to make peace with its new, damaged state, he couldn’t help but wonder if Krina had suffered the same during the attack on her life. He wondered if those who dared to point their blasters in her direction cursed her existence as they fired. They meant to kill her. They always mean it. Yet somehow, they never saw themselves as the villain. 

This time, Krina could’ve easily given into the temptations of death. They welcomed her with open arms and promises of better days. Kylo was sure it was enticing. He was sure part of her mind begged to give in and slip away. 

As if the dam that kept his emotions at bay could no longer hold the weight, Kylo broke. It was slow-moving at first, a gradual build-up to the inevitable but once it fully hit him, it took over like a tidal wave. 

His entire body shook- not of rage or anger but of fear. Pure, unadulterated fear of what could change for him, for Krina, and what any of this could mean for them. He used his grip on the arms of the chair to push himself up, breaking through them and knocking the whole thing over with a loud, thought-interrupting crash. Red bounced off his saber as it ignited and illuminated his skin. He hesitated for the slightest second before letting out a breath he wasn’t even aware he was holding in and slashing violently at the space in front of him. A moment of weakness that any passing or wandering First Order member could easily mistake as another one of his infamous temper tantrums. 

Long, uneven gashes in the onyx metal table stared back at him. Each one gleaned with angry hints of red embers that sparked from the hits of the unstable saber. Kylo heaved, his shoulders rising and falling harshly with every attempt to cycle enough air to his lungs. Sweat had forced his hair to stick to the sides of his face, his cheeks, his forehead. His eyes, narrowed and unfocused, brimming with tears. With his free hand, he quickly wiped away at any that dared to fall and then squeezed them shut. 

A scream ripped from his chest. It was strangled and low but there was so much power behind it that he swore the room shook as if it threatened to give way and collapse in on itself. When he snapped his eyes open, he slashed again and again until the sound died in his throat and the table lost its shape entirely. 

It felt good to fall apart and give in to the weakness that overtook his composure. The room stilled as he did. Everything froze with the moment, with his uneven breaths. His lightsaber switched off with a closing hiss and in a swift motion, he put it in its holster. Now, he was alone with the lingering sensation of the Force and his never-ending thoughts.

“Supreme Leader.” A voice broke the deafening silence. 

“What?” He replied sharply, not bothering to look over at the unimportant visitor. It was just a stormtrooper. 

“I was told to inform you that Lady Snake has awoken and-” 

Kylo didn’t care to hear the rest. He pushed the trooper out of the way as he headed out of the room and all but ran back to his medbay. He needed to see Krina and know for himself that she was alive. As he entered, all medical staff instinctively and quickly made way for him, jumping to the sides so they weren’t caught in his frenzy. 

When he saw her, he felt as if he was in the eye of a storm. A calm rushed over him and held him hostage. He could breathe again. 

Krina hardly looked like herself. Machines attached to her tiny frame through wires, covering any sections of skin that weren’t protectively wrapped. Her hair was matted by what Kylo could only assume was her own blood mixed with the inability to care for it. He would have to have a word with the medical staff for not tending to it for her. He didn’t even want to let his eyes wander her face but he could sense her eyes on him. He slowly inhaled and let his eyes trail up. He did all he could to hold in the whimper that wanted to come up his throat at the sight. Her skin was ghostly, a shade that could’ve convinced anyone that she wasn’t getting any better. Her eyes felt far too unfamiliar as they were taken over by angry red bags that hung low and made the whole rest of her face look sunken in and just as exhausted.

“You’re alive,” he breathed out. 

Kylo almost didn’t notice that they weren’t alone. When he felt the third presence shift, his stance stiffened and he saw Hux hunched over in a simple metal chair that was in the corner of the room but positioned to face the medical cot. Kylo wanted to protest that this was his personal care facilities in which the chair didn’t belong and neither did Hux but for Krina’s sake, he flicked his eyes back up to her.

“She is. This time,” Hux scoffed as he pushed himself up out of the chair. He paused for a second, giving Kylo a hard, angry glare before turning to Krina. “I have matters to attend to. I will return shortly.”

Kylo stood completely still as Hux passed by him. Once the General’s presence could no longer be sensed, Kylo stepped closer to Krina. 

She stiffened and did all she could to avert her eyes and keep herself from looking back up at him. This was his fault. All of it was. Every single bad moment in Krina’s life since Kylo had turned to the Dark Side was because of his inability to see her true potential, to trust her, to let her become who she was meant to be.

“I think I owe you an apology.” Kylo did all he could to speak evenly.

“No,” Krina breathed in harshly. “You don’t owe me anything.”

She despised how nice he was being. It was as if he actually cared that she had been on her deathbed only days, even moments, before. She wanted him to curse her for being weak and tell her how she would never be as strong as he was. She wanted him to wipe that pained expression off his face. 

“You almost lost your life, Krina.”

“You think I don’t know that?” She bit back harshly, trying to sit up in the cot. She winced at the pain that shot up her entire body and slinked back down. Of course, she knew that. She almost let death take her. She had begun to welcome it in. That was something she would never forget. 

“I think you’re reverting back to the reckless, naive girl that I met all those years ago.” He regretted his words as soon as he spoke them. He took a step back and bowed his head. Krina let out a cold laugh followed by a wince. She wanted so badly to be herself again. Whoever’s body laid in this cot was a stranger to her mind.

“Ah, there you go. For a second there, I was beginning to think you actually cared about your Commander being on her deathbed,” she croaked. 

“I do care. Even more so for the person behind the title. ”

“Clearly.” Krina rolled her eyes. Kylo shifted his weight and finally settled his gaze on her. She returned the look, their emotions boring into each other’s irises. “Why exactly are you here?”

"As your Supreme Leader, I should know-"

"I'm not asking why Kylo is here. I am asking why Ben Solo is." She didn’t care for the vexed look on his face. “I can see the red in your eyes, the mighty Kylo Ren would never show such emotion.”

“Don't you dare call out my emotions when you have been so out of touch with your own!” Any concern he had was now gone. Of course, Krina would lash back at him. 

“You know nothing of my emotions. I don’t wear them all over my face like you do.” She challenged him to continue with narrowed eyes. 

“I know you far better than you may think.”

Krina scoffed and her expression hardened. “You don’t know a single thing about me.”

“Then let me in.”

“And why would I do that? My mind is the only thing I have that you don’t.”

“Because if you let me in, I could finally understand.”

“Understand what?”

“Why the Force insists on connecting us.”

Tension and pain filled the room as silence fell over the exhausted pair. Krina was in her own head, fiddling with the Force. She had always had the most perfect relationship with it as she never had to question herself or her connection to it. It had brought her into the Dark the moment she felt it surround her. The part of the Force that connected her and Kylo was the only piece she felt she could never understand or master. It was a door, always locked and bolted shut but something pushed against it and banged on it constantly. Something wanted so desperately for it to open.

Then there was Kylo, whose connection to the Force was always questioned, by himself and everyone around him. Ben Solo’s ability to hold the power of the Force in his hands was inevitable but for him, it relied entirely on a legacy he didn’t want to live up to. The Skywalkers, the most powerful Force Sensitive family that, time and time again, changed the balance of the galaxy, for better or for worse. The moment he met Krina, the Force finally made sense. It was as if something clicked in place or rather, molded itself to fit. He knew Krina had felt it too for just as quick as it cleared the fog in his head, it vanished and he was once again covered in smoke. 

When they were together, they both felt it far more intensely than before. TheForce that kept their hearts beating yearned for one another. Krina could distinctively feel Kylo give into it while the opposite was undeniable. Kylo knew Krina willed it away every single time. Two pieces of one whole pushing and pulling, constantly fighting. The Force had grown tired but it would never give up. 

With nothing left to say, Kylo stepped backward and let out a sigh. He didn’t want to leave or look away from Krina in fear that this would be the last time he saw her alive but he knew he had to let go. Krina could come to him on her own time.

With one final look upon the medical cot and the tired girl who was confined to it, Kylo turned on his heels and walked out of the medbay, feeling the pull from the Force give way.


End file.
